It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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