We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
