I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
