Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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