We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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