I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
