I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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