I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
