I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
