Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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