before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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