Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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