I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
how does that bad decision feel?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize