capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
