I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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