dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
