well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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