Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize