he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
