We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
someone owes me an orgasm
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
