soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
