at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
