Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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