first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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