How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize