Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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