wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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