Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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