Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
