i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
