We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
