I need help removing her.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
