Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
