miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
