Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
