We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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