i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
