Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
