Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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