Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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(562): View more from California

about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck

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(760): View more from California

Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Her idea of kinky involved a tazer

(850): View more from Florida

wtf?

(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm going back tonight

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low

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(206): View more from Washington

Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.

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