How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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