i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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