so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
