Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
