I bet he comes in French.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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