yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
