She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
