every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
