So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You need a sexual gate keeper
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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