peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
