its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
