do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
