Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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