You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
