Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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