so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Randomize
