Christians are straight up FREAKS
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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