dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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