when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
