just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
