You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
