He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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