sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
