I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
